WTF? I Like to Run!

When runners do their best, they are all equal. But the paradox is that those far back in the pack exceed the designated winners in the time they must endure the forces that would make them quit. -- George Sheehan - Running to Win: How to Achieve the Physical, Mental & Spiritual Victories of Running (1992)

This is what is going to get me through the Music City Half Marathon in April. I know I can do it, I just want to do it well!

Frisky Business

J.T. had his Christmas program at school on his birthday. For the last few songs, he was standing beside a little girl that is not in his class, so I didn't know who she was. As we were leaving he says: "You wanna know who I kissed?"
Me: Who?
J.T. :A girl.
Me: What girl?
J.T.: I don't know. The one in the silver dress.

He just throws it around like it's nothing!

I will post pics when I am not feeling so lazy!

We Need to Talk

Our electricity has gone off a couple of times in the last few weeks, and always at night. JT gets quite concerned about this and thinks that something is really wrong. He is constantly talking about the power lines and them staying "fixed." Last night, after we had put him to bed, he came out to the living room all serious like. He said "I love you guys, but we need to talk." "Something is wrong with our house, the 'lectricity is broken." We put his mind at ease, but I really thought I was going to laugh my head off!

Word of the Day Wednesday

Skegging: A skirt and leggings combined.

I had no idea this was called a "skegging". Lily June has some, and they are cute. I did not buy them for her...and I am sure I wouldn't have just because of the name alone. But she looks darn cute in them!

Stalker

We visited a local church ONCE over 2 years ago. Since then, the pastor has been to our house no less than 5 times. The very first time he came I was laid up on the couch, not wearing a bra all the while eating oreos. It was blazing hot outside and Darrell went to the door, but of course could not invite him. So they stood outside forever talking and sweating. The last two times he has come, which has been in the last month, he has come at 8:00 at night and Darrell always goes to the door. I think he likes Darrell. I hope he finally got the message this time when Darrell told him we joined another church. Even if I had enjoyed his church, I wouldn't go back because I used to work for one of his crazy parishoners. No more pushy pastors please!

Panera Induced Anxiety

We went to Panera this morning for some breakfast. I really do love their food. However, being in that place almost gives me a panic attack. There is something about it that is so disorganized and I hate going in there (didn't realize just how much until today)! I don't like the closeness of the tables and the picking up of the food. I especially don't like the fact that they have diet pepsi...that fact alone gives me anxiety before I even get there. Not to mention the fact that their diet pepsi is really sulphur-y tasting. Blech! Panera, I love some bread, I love some soup, could you please get a drive thru?

Kthnxbai!

Julie

Did You Know?

That when a 16 month old plays with the telephone and accidentally calls 9-1-1 and you don't know it and hang up the phone they call right back? Yeah, I knew that too. What I didn't know is that they also send the sheriff's department to your house to make sure everything really is ok. Nope, didn't know that. But now I do.

Seriously Lady, Don't Judge Me!

On Friday I had an HSG to determine if my tubes are blocked from my Essure procedure. I really did not know what to expect from the procedure. My doctor's office set up the appt. for me and just called me and told me where to go and what time to be there. It was at the hospital in the Medical Imaging department. I knew that the procedure involved dye being injected into my tubes and them looking at them to see if any of the dye went beyond the markers of the essure. Ok...so I thought they would flood it up in there and then use and ultrasound to look at it. WRONG. Well, I decided not to get a sitter for LJ and just bring her with me because I didn't think it would be that involved. I thought even if x-rays were involved then I would just wheel her in the little "control" room while they shot me. We were in the waiting room and the tech came to get me. When she saw me with LJ she kind of looked disgusted and before she could even get out of her mouth "Do you have anybody with you to watch her?" I stopped her and said no I don't. She then said "You know she can't be in the room." I told her I knew that and she said she didn't know if there was anybody that could watch her. I just told her that she would be fine and we would just do whatever we had to do.

Well, we get into the x-ray room and there is no "control" room. Everything is shot in the room. So this lady is telling me what is going to transpire. And then she says "Are you a SAHM?" I told her that I was (thinking no, I took my baby out of daycare to purposely bring her to the hospital with me) and she wanted to know if I had any other kids. I replied that I have an almost 5 yr old and that he was in preschool. She said "Oh, just 2 days a week?" Um, no, nosey, every day of the week. Obviously she is really rubbing me the wrong way! She leaves so I can get undressed from the waist down. I did, but I left my socks on. When she came back in she said she would normally tell the patient to go ahead and get on the table but since I had to watch the baby she was flustered and lost her train of thought. She told me I would have to take my socks off for the procedure, but I could leave them on for the time being. I was going to go ahead and take them off and she said "Oh I wouldn't." And the proceeded to tell me how hospitals are dirty and how her daughter always wants to come there to her work, but she won't let her because she just knows she will get sick and that she is NOT a SAHM and doesn't have time for her kid to be sick. EXCUSE ME? Ok, so that was the last of her digs, but what the fuck? Had someone let me know how involved this procedure was, I wouldn't have brought my kid. But I did not know that I was going to be spread eagle without stirrups on a tiny x-ray table with a radiologist washing me down with betadine and shoving instruments into my hoo-hah. No, I was not aware that this procedure was THAT involved...more so than the actual essure procedure. Another tech was able to watch LJ for me. She was fine of course and so was I, but I could have done without the attitude. Bitch.

AND...they weren't 100% sure that my tubes were completely blocked. The radiologist thought so, but he wouldn't know for sure until he looked at it on his "big" screen. I think they are blocked, but I have to wait until I here from my dr. for the final results. If they ARE NOT blocked I'll have to have another HSG in three months. Maybe I'll bring both kids then!

Gettin' Real

Did anyone else see this week's Real Housewives of Atlanta finale? I love this crap! They are having a reunion show next Tuesday and there may be a throw down! Kim, Kim, Kim...girl you just keep on smokin' cuz your ass can't sing. At.All. I can't wait to see the reunion...and all the jury in fabbaless Uhlanta wouldn't keep from watching the new season of the Real Housewives of Orange County, premiering next Tuesday! Oh for the love of Bravo!!!

Don't Judge Me

We were running some late errands Saturday and we wound up eating dinner at Chili's. While we were there, J.T. had gone to the bathroom with Darrell. As soon as we got out to the car (in the freaking cold) that seemed a mile away, J.T. says "I hafta go pee." And I told him he would just have to hold it until we got home and he tells me "I hafta pee really bad." Well, I have heard that before and he means it. So, instead of trudging back inside, I just told him to pee in the grass...in between Chili's and Logan's. He wasn't kidding either...HE HAD TO GO! It was dark and I don't ever like to miss an opportunity to work on my MOTY '09 award!

The Proof

I ran another 5k on Saturday. Here is my proof! I did this one in 30:33. It was such a great feeling having J.T. cheer me on at the finish line! I was very proud! J.T. took the top picture. Only 3 more 5k's to go and I'll have a half marathon under my belt!

A Future on Broadway?

JT certainly does like to dress up and perform. He cracks me up with his posing. He is quite dramatic!

Baby Idol Update

You can get directly to the Baby Idol voting site here. I know it is a hassle. You can only vote for the pictures that are posted each day. I suspect LJ's picture will be up tomorrow or Friday...and I guess they will just keep rotating out until Nov. 26. Don't forget her number is 330. Just check the site everyday to see if she is there and vote for her. Thanks!

Speaking of Results (and shameless plugs)

I entered Lily June in a local radio station "Baby Idol" contest. Grand prize is $500. The winner is determined by the number of votes she receives. Voting begins tomorrow, Tuesday, November 4. If you love me (and Lily June) or even if you don't, please go vote for her at 107.5 The River. I think you will have to join the River VIP club to vote, so please take the time to do so....she is Baby #330 in Gallery #4. It is the 2nd picture in that gallery. Please no multiple votes, as the rules state multiple votes by the same users will result in disqualification!! Now tell everyone that you know!! Thanks!

The Results Are In

I ran the Dunkin' Donuts 5k on Saturday and the official results are in on RACE Nashville. My official time is listed as 31:37, but when I stepped across the finish line and I saw the clock it was 31:33. I am so proud of that!! I wanted to do it in 32:00. I was 21 out of 171 women and girls, mind you this was a fun run and walk...some people took their time! I had a lot of fun and now I am pumped up to do it again this Saturday!

Happy Halloween

It's For a Good Cause

I am going to run the Dunkin' Donuts 5k tomorrow in support of the T.J. Martell Foundation. Anybody want to pay $35 for a t-shirt and lunch and join me?

Hulk Smash

J.T. got these Hulk gloves after his "almost" endoscopy. LJ loves them. They were so cute playing together!

Smooches and Hippos

Yesterday when I picked J.T. up from school his buddy came and gave him a hug. J.T. hugged him back and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Then he looked at me and said "I gave him a kiss." I just said, "You might not want to do that." Now, I don't care that he did that, but I don't want anybody going crazy about it at school and all the drama that would ensue. How sad is it that that was the first thing that crossed my mind?!

As we were driving home this evening we were watching an animal DVD in the car. J.T. said "Hippos have big bellies and big penises." I really can't argue with that.

To Single Parents

Bless.Your.Heart. I don't know how you do it. Making up for Darrell's slack while he is out of commission is wiping me out. Plus, I have to take care of him too. There is a reason why I don't have 3 children. Two is P.L.E.N.T.Y. for me! And now I have a 3rd, an almost 35 year-old, who listens and communicates worse than our 15 month old. At least when the little ones need or want something, they ask or cry or whatever....and when they don't want something they yell, or cry. I am wiped out. I hate giving kids a bath. I am tired of being a chauffeur (this really doesn't have anything to do with Darrell). Darrell really does a lot around here, things that I don't think about, or usually don't HAVE to think about. I really appreciate what a great husband and father he is!!! Now, he just needs to get that damn shoulder better (yesterday) so we can get on with our NORMAL lives (whatever that is)!

Anyway, after that rant, I admire all you single parents. Being a parent is hard work. Period.

Say What?

J.T. said 'penis' at school today during a project. I don't know why, or in what context.

So?

He got a moved from a green face to a yellow face for it. Really? Is that necessary?

To My Fellow Nominees

It is such an honor to be nominated for this award among such good company. I know many of us were anticipating winning the Mother of the Year 2008 award, and as much as I would like to be humble and say that I can't believe that I actually won, well, I really knew it was in the bag all along.

I really need to thank my children for making this honor possible. Without them, obviously I wouldn't be a mother, and I wouldn't have been able to be recognized for my outstanding mommy moments. Let's revisit my list of outstanding accomplishments:

• Leaving the house with LJ and not bringing more diapers. She pooped and I dumped the poop in the toilet, wiped her butt and put the same diaper back on.
• Driving out of my neighborhood and forgetting to buckle JT into his carseat.
• JT swallowed a quarter that landed us in the hospital 3 weeks later. Two weeks after that we were back at the hospital to have it removed because it was still in his stomach. Thankfully it had passed before he got in for surgery.
• Sending JT to school wearing pants that were too short and too tight around the waist and the button kept popping open.
• Bringing Lily June to the fountains in her walker, where she walked OVER the fountain spraying from the ground and was nearly launched to the moon, walker and all.

And the number thing that made me a shoe in for this award:

• Going to the grocery store with Darrell and Lily June Saturday. While there, I let LJ walk. She was getting down on the floor and I pulled her up by her hand. I pulled her elbow out of socket, but I am so wise that I knew it was nurse maid's elbow (because the same thing happened to JT when he was her age and we didn't know what had happened and we went to the ER where we were put in the crazy people room so we could be watched) called her dr. and we headed to Green Hills so they could pop it back into place.

I cannot thank you all enough for this prestigious award. I will definitely be trying equally as hard next year NOT TO WIN!

I Never Said I Wasn't Judgmental

There were some interesting "people" at the ambulatory surgery center yesterday. It was a really busy place with a really full waiting room. The room wasn't cramped, but it wasn't exactly spread out either. One man was hacking up a lung. His name was called and I thought he was the patient, the way he was walking. Turns out he and his son were there for his wife. When he stood up he had to get his balance and the way he was standing there, he looked like he was about to puke. He and his son got his wife to the nurse and proceeded to tell her that they were going outside to smoke. Great. He was also a mouth breather...I really don't think he closed his mouth the entire time. When he started hacking, Darrell and I at the same time said "For the love of god" outloud. Then, a "lady" and her daughter came in. The mom was there for surgery, on her finger. She was wearing "Family Guy" Stewie pajama bottoms, a Mayberry t-shirt and vans type shoes with funky laces. She was also carrying a huge Elmo, that was at least 3 feet tall. As she and her daughter were sitting across from us, they were sharing and i-pod, they each had a bud in one ear. Then, the mom started playing with her tongue stud. The daughter had to get on that I suppose and started showing hers as well. Delightful, mother/daughter tongue studs. Dad must have been parking the car because his entrance was a bit delayed. He looked like he needed to be holding a sign at the Bell Rd. Exit. It was just a weird dynamic all the way around. People watching brings me so much pleasure, and disgust all at the same time.

Now, I know not everyone has the same opportunities, or even the same cares and concerns. These are just my observations

Holy Crocs Batman!

Yesterday, while Darrell was in surgery, I went down the street to have lunch. After lunch, I decided to walk along West End Ave. and window shop. I was on the phone with Kim and as I was walking by f.y.e. I noticed a display of kids' crocs in the window with a sign that said "75% off All Crocs and Jibbitz". WHAT??? So I took Kim on a phone shopping spree with me, and bought 8 pairs of crocs and 16 jibbitz! They had Lightning McQueen, Batman, Spiderman, Mickey Mouse, Cinderella, Ariel and Supergirl. I cannot tell you what kind of high I get off of a good deal! The crocs were 7.50 a pair and the jibbitz were .75. I was very excited...it was one of the first things I told Darrell after his surgery! I get really excited when I see the the little red stickers on items at Target too...it is the biggest rush!!!

I Think I Can

We are at the ambulatory surgery center waiting on Darrell's surgery to begin. I know, I haven't mentioned it, but he is having shoulder surgery today. I am so happy I brought my laptop and that I can get online!! I am glad he is having surgery, hopefully no more pain. I am a little concerned about the caretaking part, as that is usually his job (to take care of me...as I have had 4 surgeries!). My philosophy has always been "I'm not your mama!" But, he is always so good at taking care of me, sick or not...I think I can return the favor! Thanks Kim and Chris for watching the kids! I will keep everyone posted! Yeehaw for internet freedom!!!

Wordless Wednesday

I Can't Make This Shit Up

Literally. We were at church Wed. night and we had just finished eating. I was talking to a lady I don't even know, telling her that her daughter is so sweet and did a wonderful job singing with her boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. J.T. was standing right behind me and kept hiding under the hood of my jacket. The lady says "Oh, I think somebody has a poopy." And then I had to reply, "No, I think J.T. is just passing gas because he NEEDS to go poopy." So, he and I take off to the kiddie potty. Well, I take off and he gets mad at me for pulling him and wants to walk very slowly, in order to, ahem, keep matters contained, if you will. So, we get to the little crapper and he definitely has a peek-a-boo turd. He does his business while I go get the ever important wet wipes. O.M.G. He seriously dropped a LOG. Before we wiped, I tried to flush the little potty, to no avail. His freakin' turd was TOO BIG for the little potty. S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y. Okay people, I am not a member of this church. I attend fairly regularly but I don't "know" things. I was not sure what I was supposed to do. I had stepped out into the hall to look for help when the lady that always works the nursery on Sundays walked by. I told her that his poop was literally too big to flush and that I was going to need a BAG TO GET IT OUT! Lord help me! So, she got 2 bags for me and I went to work. That thing was at least 2 inches in diameter. I swear only these things can happen to me. It really wasn't a big deal (never thought I would say that about a situation such as this). J.T. and I had a talk about waiting too long to go potty. I know it is still a little intimidating for him in public, but you've gotta do what you've gotta do.

Oh, the joys of motherhood.

It's My Birthday!

Happy 33rd birthday to me! It has been a nice day. I went on a field trip with J.T. and then LJ, J.T. and I spent the day together. My goodness, that boy DOES.NOT.SHUT.UP. But, all in all, it has been "fabbaless." And here is some advice (thanks to Sheree from RHOA):

"Don't let the shoes own you. You own the shoes."

I know, that is random, but I had to throw that in there!

Thanks to everyone for the wonderful birthday wishes! Don't forget my anniversary on Saturday....11 years!

Word.

Me: Can you not hear J.T.?

J.T.: Can you not be mean mommy?

Um, probably not, but I know you can hear!

Me too!

JT likes to play with the little girl next door. They didn't see each other much this summer, but she seems to be around more these days. Twice now, he has come home crying saying that they won't let him in. The first time, they had been playing, but it was time for her to go in for dinner. He wouldn't listen and her dad basically just had to close the door on him. The second incident was on Sunday, and we aren't really sure what happened. I told him he can't go over there if he is going to cry about it all the time.

So, yesterday, JT was playing with another little boy and the girl wanted that little boy to come to her house and she told JT that he couldn't come to her house. But, the little boy's grandma told him that JT had come over first and that he could play with her after he played with JT. JT and the boy were playing in the sandbox and I suggested to him that he ask the little girl over to play with them. He did, and she came over. While she was here, I asked her if she and JT had had a fight. Her response:

No, sometimes JT is just bugging me too much.

Well, we can't argue with that logic.

I Think It's a Sign

Should I be worried that a Jehovah's Witness came and knocked on my door while I was catching up on "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" this morning?

Just so everyone is caught up, everything in "Uhlanta" is just "Fabbaless."

CYA

Cover.Your.Ass.

One would think that a company that calls itself by an acronym would also be familiar with this one. Notsomuch. The company that Darrell works for is FULL of incompetent IDIOTS. He called Sunday evening to see how things were running and the person who answered the phone was in tears. He asked her what was wrong and she began to tell him that she is being sexually harrassed by one of the supervisors and that another employee witnessed it and had reported it to the corporate office, which told the local HR manager. He told the manuf. mgr. who talked to the supv. and told him to "lay low." THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE DONE...NO INVESTIGATION, NO TALKING TO THE ALLEGED VICTIM, NO DOCUMENTATION. Darrell didn't know anything at all about any of this and the woman works for him. So, he had to go in on Sunday to sit there and he called the two other mgrs. to find out what was going on. The manf. mgr. said yes, he had talked to him, but it had been "a while ago." In the meantime, while Darrell was still en route to the plant, the mfg. mgr. called the supervisor and TOLD HIM WHAT WAS GOING ON and he went and yelled at the accusor. Is anybody following the LOGIC of ANY of this???? Then Darrell had to call the HR mgr to come in, but the mfg. mgr. did not think that was necessary....WTF????? Are you freaking kidding me?????? So NOW, after the SECOND mention of the problem, they are doing interviews. The HR mgr. is afraid they are going to get sued. He damn well should be afraid. What a bunch of fucking idiots! Darrell, who doesn't know anything about HR, knows through common sense, that in 2008, you don't let shit like this slide. Whether it is a false accusation or not is still to be determined, but no matter what, when this kind of information is received, it needs to be researched and DOCUMENTED!!!!!

Seriously, how stupid do you have to be to not CYA???

My Big Redneck Wedding

Who else watches this??? I decided to record it this season so I would be certain not to miss any train wrecks. So far, I have been quite pleased. Anna and Bo, brother and sister, from Verbena, AL got married in episode 101. It was a mud boggin' weddin', with a confederate theme. If you happen to catch this episode, keep your eye out for the "toothless wonder" at the bacehlorette party and at the wedding. She does nothing in particular, but just looking at her is ENOUGH! I am not going to go into more detail on this one. You just gotta watch it.

I also caught one about a couple from Hunker, PA. They had been together for 10 years, had a kid last year and then decided to get married.at.a.demolition.derby. As in...In.the.demolition.derby. They crashed into each other and then got on top of their cars for the ceremony. She was in a actual wedding dress (pretty) and had to climb in through the used-to-be windshield of her pink camo painted derby car. They met by playing in the same pool league. The reception was at the Fire Hall. The groom is a tow truck driver and invited random people that he towed to the wedding.

This stuff just makes me smile in disbelief. I love it!

And the Oscar Goes To....

J.T. Box for his academy award winning performance as "the grandson" at Gamma's house. As gamma was rubbing his head trying to get him back to sleep...

JT: I will always have mommy in my heart. And Darrell and my baby. sighhhhhhhhhhhhh

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

4 words

Shut.The.Fuck.Up.

I'm a Slacker

But that is really not news. Sorry I haven't been keeping up with the blog. I have been lazy, had a bladder infection, a sick husband and JT had bronchitis. Oh, and I brought him to SC last Friday and came back on Saturday, so I have been recovering. I will try to get back on track!

Do We Have Wet Wipes?

While eating at Pei Wei:

JT: I am ready to go home. We need to go home. I have to poop.

Me: You have to poop? Well, you can go here. (as Darrell gets up and starts to lead the way)

JT: DO WE HAVE WET WIPES??????????

Me: Yep...go poop.

And that he did. He made Darrell stand and look at the door! LMAO!

I'm Laughing

....all the way to the bank AT&T. HA! Thanks for the $1.62 refund on the "overpayment" of my FINAL BILL! Suckers!!!!!!! hehehehehehe

Heart to Heart

Well, it finally happened. Yesterday morning we all got up and headed to Super Target. Darrell thought we would have a fun breakfast of hot dogs and popcorn. I have done it many times before, it is usually not Darrell's idea though. I was skeptical, just because I know how this Target operates and I knew in my heart that there would be no hotdogs or popcorn, even though the store opens at 8:00. We got there at about 8:45 and headed straight to the snack bar. There was no popcorn. There were no hot dogs. Darrell said now he just wanted a drink. They had cinnamon rolls that they said they "had just put out". I orderd 2 cinnamon rolls, 2 large drinks and a water (LJ had already eaten breakfast, BTW). She put the cinnamon rolls in the microwave, which I thought was odd since they had been "just put out." I paid and went to get our drinks while Darrell got the kids and cinnamon rolls situated. I of course went to get diet coke and it came out clear. So, I went to ask if they were out. They.were.out.of.diet.coke. Yes, I know they have diet pepsi as well, and Darrell isn't as picky when it comes to that, so he drank it. I.did.not. When Darrell tried to give LJ some cinnamon roll, she spit it out because it was ice cold. He took them back to be warmed some more. Still.cold. I sat there and said I think I am going to go ask for my money back and Darrell said do it. Right then, the food counter manager walked out and I just looked at her and said "can I get my money back?" She was super nice and said absolutely and I just began to tell her my frustrations, in a nice way of course. She gave me my money back, gave the kids each a chocolate chip cookie and fruit snacks and even went and got me a diet coke from the cooler. Her name is Brenda and she is really nice. She asked if I had other bad experiences there, so I told her about those as well. I told her that none of this would stop me from coming back, but it was all just very frustrating. I told her that I don't blame her, that I thought it was more of an upper management problem. Whomever her boss is needs to step up. They rarely have more than one person working back there and it is just too much for one person to handle. Anyway, that is my 2 cents. Keep trying Brenda!

WARNING....TMI!

Darrell slept in a little this morning. I heard him in the kitchen packing his lunch and I heard him get JT's chocolate milk and turn on Franklin for him. He happened to still be here when my alarm went off, so he came in to kiss me good morning, which turned into some morning nookie. He quickly went and closed and locked our bedroom door......
Once he opened the door again this is what I heard

JT: Daddy, did you have fun in your bedroom with mommy?
Darrell: Uhhhhhhh, no?
Me: OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO
Darrell: I guess we can't do that anymore.
Me: Why not?

I love that freakin' kid!!!!

T-R-A-S-H TV

I love some Bridezillas! Do any of you ever watch this? They find some straight up trash to be on that show. It is a like a train wreck and I cannot help but watch it. On one of the reruns, there was this girl from TX that was about to marry her baby daddy and for her wedding "present" he had told her that she could have a $13,000 down payment on a Porsche Cayenne or a boob job. She picked the boob job...not a wise choice for a fat girl whose gut was still bigger than her boobs after surgery. Also, she couldn't stop talking about her own boobs and how hot they were! WTF?

Also, did anyone catch CMT's Biggest Redneck Wedding? These folks got married in the middle of a mud bog. They played "toilet seat" horseshoes, sat on toilets at tables, and "bobbed" for chocolate bars in toilets full of lemonade. And they were looking all over the damn place for some cooter. It was out of season, but Tom Arnold came through for them. FYI, this wedding took place in Florida. The bride put deodorant on her face to keep it from being shiny. And was planning to write the company if that didn't work. Oh, and also thanks to Tom Arnold, Hooters catered the reception and the "girls" were there to serve it. That's klassy!

Just call me grandma

Ok, so when in the hell did I turn into a grandmother? Over the last few weeks I have developed an affinity for hard candy. I have a supply of starlight peppermints and Werther's originals. What the hell? I guess I just like to suck it hard.

Best.Snack.Ever. (for now)

1 Quaker Honey Vanilla Rice Cake +

Philadelphia Cheesecake Flavor Cream Cheese =

some good grub

LJ's got talent!

It's pretty impressive when your 14 month old daughter rolls off the couch and lands on her face, all the while keeping the cracker in her hand intact! I can only hope she will be just as masterful (and a little less tearful) in a few (many) years when she does this holding a cocktail!

WOW Wednesday

What a busy day! I went to the Y, ran some errands, met a friend and her kids for lunch, went to Target, picked JT up from school and then went to the park with friends. Then, (if you know me, you should probably stop reading now) I had to be at church by 4:00. Yes, I said church. We have been going (three unconsecutive times) to the presbyterian church. They have a program on Wednesdays during the school year called LOGOS for kindergartners through 8th grade. It is from 4-7 and they needed volunteers for the *gasp* nursery....and I *gasp* volunteered! The nursery is actually for the kids of the volunteers. So, JT and LJ were with me. Thankfully, Darrell came by to pick up LJ on his way home and it is a good thing because she would not have lasted. At 6:15 we all had dinner. JT and LJ had a lot of fun. And I have come to the conclusion that is not the kids that irritate me, it is the other ADULTS. All in all it was a really good experience and I met some nice people.

They really don't do anything half-assed there. JT went to bible school there this summer and the theme was Rainforest Adventure and the place was decked out and the hall looked like the rainforest with inflatable monkeys and all. I didn't realize that LOGOS had a theme, and I don't know if it is the same theme for the year or if it changes from week to week. But tonight's theme was the LOGOS Laboratory and the kids and adults were all mad scientists. They had all these great props...and it was sort of a "Back to the Future" theme too. They had dry ice, strobe lights, and bubble machines. The pastor (a female) even had little pigtails all over her head wrapped in aluminum foil. They really pay close attention to details. Very interesting to me and for the kids as well.

Well, I didn't intend to ramble so much in this post, but I have had a busy and fun day and now I am ready for bed.

Is it Tuesday already?

We went to SC for the weekend for the Clemson football game. I am pretty sure there really was a game and Clemson won, but I never did see it. I was too busy socializing and drinking beer and firefly! I had so much fun and I love it when I get to hang out with Mary and Jason and the football crowd! My parents stayed at home with the kids, so it was a nice break for us. Unfortunately Darrell had started feeling badly on Friday and only continued to get worse throughout the weekend. He sacked up on Sat. though and had a good time tailgating.

We left pretty early on Sunday and we were making great time until we got about 40 miles past Chattanooga. We had a flat tire, but I called our insurance and got a number for roadside service and I don't think from the time it happened until we were back on the road again was 30 minutes. Maybe not even 20. Monteagle Tire and Truck repair is really great! They were super fast and extremely nice. Only charged us $50 and we will get reimbursed by our insurance.

Darrell was home sick from work yesterday. He went to the clinic at Walgreen's. His major problem is a sore throat. He has not been able to talk for three days. He doesn't have strep and he doesn't have a cold. It is just a viral infection, but he is miserable, and I can understand why. I HATE having sore throat more than ANYTHING! If I catch this crud I am going to be very upset! He went to work today, but should be home soon because he didn't sleep again last night. I hate a sick man, but he is really handling it very well, and so am I!

Well, I guess that is about it. I have one picture from the "game", but I can't get it to load right now. I will post it later!

Starsky and Hutch

I really don't know which is which, but I would say one is definitely good cop and the other is bad cop.Good cop up here LOVES herself a powdered sugar donut!

Bad cop likes to lock 'em up and use as many guns as he can get into his spiderman underoos!

You could use a mint yourself, slick!

I had to bring JT in bed with me this morning at 5:15 because his light bulb in his lamp burnt out and he turned his overhead light on, but still decided he needed to cry about it. Anyway, a while later I was laying there and he said "I love you." I said "I love you too. Let's have a good day at school today please." To which he replied "Stop blowing that stinky air on me. That is disgusting!" Good freakin' morning to you too!

I don't see it

Ok...I am not AT ALL political. I was raised in a conservative republican household and I hold most of those values...but with an open mind. I really don't have much of an opinion at all regarding the presidential election. Obama doesn't really do it for me and neither does McCain. I am particularly tired of the hoopla surrounding Sarah Palin. I do like her candidness. I certainly can appreciate that. But I think if I hear one more time about how pretty she is I am going to vomit. Don't get me wrong, I by no means think she is ugly! On the other hand, the word H-O-T is N-O-T one that I would use to describe her. Maybe I need to go look at the American flag bikini pics with a gun....hmmmmm?! I'm just sayin'.

Too Embarrassed for Free Chicken

Well, Clemson got destroyed by Alabama on Saturday. In fact, it was so bad that we were all too embarrassed to wear our "team" shirts to Chik-fil-A yesterday for free chicken strips. If I owned another team shirt, I would have worn it, but I don't.

That's the difference

....between men and women that is. You can be certain that a group of women on a business trip in Mexico would be stopping by la farmacia. My husband is on a business trip in Mexico right now but of course those men didn't go to la farmacia. *Sigh* that was my only souvenir request. I asked if he went and he said "no, but I saw about 12 of them!" Sack up and bring your wife some meds!

Phlegm Pizza Anyone?

That's what happens when you take a 4 year old to a pizza buffet. He proceeds to cough up a lung right there in the line. Sheesh!

Sick as a man

That is my new saying. As I was definitely "sick as a man" this weekend! In case anyone does not know, that means really, really pitiful and very, very needy. I had a cold that turned into a sinus infection and I was miserable. Thankfully I am feeling better and more like a woman!
I have to give Darrell lots of praise though. He took great care of me and the kids and was only a little pitiful and not really feeling well himself...duh, that's because I was sick! I asked him to go get some soup for me at Demos' (they have the best chicken and rice soup) and he said he would, but he could only take JT because he would have to carry LJ. I told him tough shit, what the hell does think I do? Just the day before I had to take a box back to the cable company, with it in one hand and LJ in the other. Needless to say, he took them both. I was glad he did because I got to lay on the couch and watch a little uninterrupted TV. I caught part of the movie Georgia Rule on HBO. I know this got crappy reviews, but I really liked what little I saw, so I recorded it at another time and finished watching it today. It was a good movie, LaLohan and all. But really, all I could think was that she was like that in real life.

iLove Me Some Me

This is my new favorite saying, thanks to Terrell Owens. I like football, college football that is, but I am addicted to a reality show on HBO Hard Knocks Dallas Cowboys Training Camp. T.O. (as he is affectionately called) has his own line of t-shirts and this one is my favorite by far...

Those who know me know (I hope) that I am not vain, but if you don't love yourself, nobody else will. Look for me to be wearing this one in the near future! Darrell and I like to snuggle up and watch this show together. I am also getting into the UFC stuff too...what is up with that?

Check out the show on HBO....we watched the one last season too about the KC Chiefs. I think Herm Edwards is cute. Gotta love some "documentary" TV! hehehe

Goin' Postal on Sugarbabies

That is almost what happened earlier today when I dropped off at the local consignment sale. I had newbies checking me in that were very (ahem) thorough...and they didn't even know that they could accept short-sleeves or capris. They rejected one item of LJ's and I asked what was wrong with it. Turns out it had a very tiny "spot" on the back...ummm, yeah, it was an itty bitty piece of lint. I picked it off and handed it back, and she reinspected the entire thing. Things like that shouldn't make my blood boil, but it is the little things that set me off. Yea me!!

Can you fix stupid?

I certainly hope so, because this morning I woke up to JT screaming for help. It was a little after 7am and he was still gated in his hallway. When I got there, I didn't see him in his room or in the bathroom, but he was still crying for help. I said "where are you?" And then he started knocking on the inside of the linen closet door. Our linen closet is the size of a broom closet and it is NOT a walk-in closet. There are shelves in it from floor to ceiling. He had gone in there and somehow closed the door in front of him. The thing is, all he had to do was turn the freakin' knob. Mama NEVER said there would be days like THIS!

Seriously....I do not understand. Can't even try.

AT&T sucks AS&S

I cancelled my att telephone service in July and got Comcast digital. I received a final bill from att shortly thereafter and happily paid it. Yesterday, I received a "revised final bill" for long distance service. There explanation is that they bill for local service at the front end of the month, which was what my last final bill was for, and bill for long distance service at the end of the month, hence this "revised final bill." I got transeferred 5 times before this was ever explained to me and now I am waiting on a supervisor to call me back. That sounds like poor planning on their part and not my problem. When I asked to speak to a supervisor, the lady that had explained this to me asked me if I didn't understand what she had just told me. I said yes and she said what should I tell me supervisor you want to talk about!?!?!?! Crediting my account, cuntbag.

Update: The supervisor never did call me back. I told Darrell what was going and since he thought I was going to go to Atlanta and kill someone, he took care of this issue for me yesterday. According to Maurice Sanders, our account is credited and closed.

PMS Shelter

This is my latest and greatest idea. As I have gotten older, it seems as though my PMS symptoms have gotten much worse. Therefore, I am proposing a shelter for spouses and children so they will have a place to flee to when I need them to get the fuck away from me. And in case you are wondering, that would be right the fuck now.

Dave Ramsey does not have a tattoo

I know this because of the sound advice I heard on a radio commerical for a tattoo parlor...

"Don't pay your rent, get a tattoo!"

Hell yeah!

Helen Keller Lives Here

I swear a deaf and blind child would be easier to manage than JT. That kid is so hard headed it is not even funny. We were swimming at the Y today and they made everyone get out of the pool because a girl got a bloody nose. JT gets out of the pool and then proceeds to walk back in as I am yelling at him "Get OUT of the pool!" He continues to look at me and keeps walking deeper and deeper. Two lifeguards had to yell at him before he got out. I.wanted.to.kill.him. Then he wants to know why she has a bloody nose and wants to go look at it and wants to know why her hands are bloody and so on and so forth. God, you were there with me, because if you hadn't been, JT may not be with me now.

Show Me the Money!

Well, JT didn't have to have an endoscopy afterall. They did an x-ray when we got there and thankfully and amazingly the quarter had passed on its own sometime between Monday and today. So, unfortunately I have no quarter to show....and for that I must say I am disappointed. But I am so relieved this is all over and JT didn't have to go through all that! This week has been CRAZY!!!! I am glad this saga is over!

Press "C1" For Salicylic Acid

There is a freakin' Proactiv Solution VENDING machine at Stones River Mall. Um, seriously...WTF?!

You are Killing Me, George!

Well, LJ had her 1 year check-up yesterday and all is well. She is super strong, duh, and she is really healthy. She weighs 23.2 pounds and is 28.5 inches. When the doctor asked if I had any questions, I said only about JT. I asked if we needed to do anything regarding the quarter. She wanted to get an x-ray to see what is going on. So, we headed over to Vandy and got the x-ray. Lo and behold, that sucker is still in there. His dr. called me in the waiting room and said that it appears to still be in his stomach. So, she wanted to talk to a GI about it and have it removed.

Well, looks like it is coming out (endoscopically...I think) tomorrow. I am waiting for the hospital to call me with the details. As far as I know, it will be an outpatient procedure. I certainly cannot wait to get my hands on this coin!!!! I will post more when I know more! And the saga continues.....

Um, What?

I saw a lady with a weiner dog last week and she said she was going to take him for a hike. Excuse me? WTF? Weiner dogs don't HIKE!!! She was SERIOUS about it too...she had on freakin' hiking boots! That was one of the funniest things I have ever heard!

Happy Belated Birthday Lily June!

It is so hard to believe that this year has already come and gone. It feels like I just came home from the hospital. It has been a fun year and LJ has changed so much. She is such a happy baby, very laid back and relaxed! She loves her big brother so much, I just hope I can remind her of that down the road. She loves to stand up and push things all around the house. She isn't walking yet, but she really wants to. She stood by herself last night for at least 30 seconds. LJ loves music just like her brother and she likes to dance. She likes to "give 5" and kisses and loves to hit things when she is excited (sorry Jack!). Her favorite food is yogurt and she loves a cereal bar too. She also loves macaroni and cheese and beans and rice. I just wish she would drink milk! Her party was alot of fun on Saturday. She had a blast watching the other kids play and loved getting messy. The cake and cupcakes were so cute and very yummy (thanks Kim!)...and we have plenty of ice cream left if anybody wants any! Thanks for all of the birthday wishes and helping us celebrate our baby girl turning 1!!!

I've Been Tagged

Kim tagged me!Here are the rules:



a. Link to the person who tagged you.

b. Post the rules on your blog.

c. Write six random things about yourself.

d. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blog.

e. Let each person know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog.

f. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.



1. I absolutely cannot go to bed with complete silence. I used to have to have the TV on, but now that bothers me, so I have to have 2 fans.



2. I will not go to bed without brushing my teeth or washing my face under ANY circumstances, intoxicated or not. If semi-passed out, when I come to, it will be done.



3. If I don't need to take a shower, but I think that my feet are dirty, I have to turn the shower on and stick my feet in there. I cannot go to bed with dirty feet.



4. I've decided that I don't like stuff. I can't seem to manage it or organize it. I don't lose things, but I am just tired of messes so at this point I'd be perfectly happy just getting rid of nearly everything.



5. I go to McDonald's practically everyday and get at least one large diet coke.



6. I really want a puppy, but I think that would bring me back to #4.

JT Math

Crazy Smart + Retard Strong = JT

2 slices of bread with Miracle Whip (blech) + 2 vanilla wafers = 4 year old dinner

2 slices of bread + 1 side with cream cheese + 1 side with soy butter = 4 year old lunch

All of the above equations = Awesome Mother of the Year

Kristina and Leigh's Wedding

The whole purpose for our "vacation" was for my friend Leigh's wedding. He and I have been friends since kindergarten and he asked me to be a reader at his wedding. I was afraid I was going to miss it after all the drama, but thankfully I didn't have to. I was very honored to be a part of his special day. I will post pics when I am not feeling so lazy.

Why George? WHY???

Washington that is! Please show your shiny head so that we don't spend anymore time in an emergency room or a freakin' SEMI private room overnight at the hospital. Remember when JT swallowed that quarter 3 weeks ago? Well, it put us in urgent care and then the ER while on vacation. JT had really not been feeling well for almost a week and kept complaining that his belly hurt. A week ago today he was really complaining about it and he had not been eating well at all. We took a family trip to the Target up the block from our condo (it was junky and not exciting at ALL!) to get some Maalox. While we were in Target JT puked....twice. I assumed at that point he would be feeling much better. He did feel better momentarily so we went to a pizza joint for dinner (none for him), but he couldn't make it through. I was getting the pizza to go while Darrell took the kids to the car. In the meantime, the older couple sitting next to us felt badly for him and I explained that he wasn't feeling well. They told us about a good urgent care just in case. I didn't think I would need to take him, but the more I thought about it, the more it sounded like a good idea.

We were seen right away at urgent (Nason Medical Center in Mt. Pleasant, SC....I highly recommend it) and I had honestly forgotten about the coin. So when Dr. Nason came in, I remembered to say that he had swallowed it 3 weeks ago. He listened to his belly and said there was A LOT going on in there. He wanted to get some x-rays. As we proceeded down the hall, JT puked and puked again. Then he had to go to the potty. And he freaked out about the x-ray and kicked the camera!

The quarter was in fact still there and Dr. Nason did not think it was causing the problem, but he did suggest we follow-up with a pediatric gastroenterologist. I reminded him that we were there on vacation and he said that if he continued with his symptoms after his medication (they gave him a phenergan suppository while we were there) that we could take him to MUSC Children's Hospital. Well, being that we were not at home and that the quarter had not passed yet (I had assumed that thing was long gone), I decided we should take him on to the ER. Thankfully my parents had arrived in town that same day and they were able to meet us at the hospital and get LJ. That night in the ER for 5 freakin' hours, they were talking surgery. But, everyone wanted to wait and see what x-rays the next morning showed. JT was admitted and he was a real trooper. Once he got his IV, he was asking everybody he saw for something to eat.

The next morning the quarter had not moved so they wanted to give him something to get his bowels moving and they also decided to let him eat. That day was just a whole lot of waiting. His bowels never did move while we were there (or the next day either) but when we finally saw the Chief of Surgery at 4:30, he said the never in his career has he not seen a coin pass. So, he discharged us with his private pager number just in case.

JT is feeling fine and I am so thankful he didn't have to have surgery. We haven't been fishing for the quarter, although I really want it. If anyone has a metal detector, let me know!!

So, I said it even before all of this happened, there is no such thing as a vacation with kids. Darrell and I really need some down time!

Well, I guess I should have....

paid more attention to my last post. I, the one and only, wound up at the hospital with JT while on vacation and I was wearing a wife beater...a pink one at that. However, I was not (to my knowledge) televised. Ahem.

Let's Pray

Dear God,

If a child of mine is ever on any transplant list and we get "the" call one morning, please let my baby daddy have the foresight NOT to wear his wife beater to the hospital where he knows the news is gonna be there because they have been following our story. Thank you Lord Jesus. Amen.

Happy Father's Day

We went to breakfast this morning at Mimi's Cafe. When we were being seated at a table, I asked if we could have a booth. I was told that they can't put a highchair at a booth for safety reasons. These are not those high off the ground booths. I thought that was odd and let the hostess know that. Okay, so why can they not put a highchair at a booth BUT THEY CAN PUT A BABYSLING???? WTF? I almost caused a scene...but opted against it! People...don't mess with me these days...I really am not capable of holding too much back.

Then, as we were on our way home, I gave JT's dr a call just to be on the safe side with the quarter issue. I of course got the service and told them the story and I said he seems fine, but I wasn't sure if we needed to do anything. The reply was "This is just the answering service. The office isn't open. If you think it is an emergency I can page a dr." Ummm. duh shit. So I reply "yes, I know you are the service and the office is not open. I think I need to consult with a dr. hence the purpose of this phone call." Seriously, twice in one day...and people I don't even know!

Human Bank

The BLF swallowed a freakin' quarter this morning. WTF? He was still in his room and we had just gotten up. I heard him crying and went to see what the problem was.

JT: My throat hurts!!! My throat hurts!!!
Me: Why...what's wrong?
JT: There's a penny in it.
Me: In your throat?
JT: YEAAAHHH!
Me: Is it stuck in your throat or is in in your belly?
JT: It's in my belly!

He calls all coins pennies, so we determined what it actually was by giving him a "coin" line-up. I imagine a quarter did hurt his throat. I love him, even if he is a moeront.

I guess I am watching poop for a while!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

JT said "I will share with you. I'm a sharer."

He also said in Publix today after we put a lunchable, kid cuisine, transformer fruit snacks and air head pops into the cart "Thanks mom for buying me all this JUNK!"

I said "Can we not call it that?"

How sad is that!?

We never made it to the pool at the Y

The original plan was for us to swim before I worked out, but JT fell asleep in the car on the way there and I didn't want to wake him. Therefore, there was no time for swimming before my class. So, I promised him we would swim after class. So, I went to pick the kids up in the nursery and we headed to the family locker room. The 3 of us were in a changing room. JT got changed first and was waiting for LJ and me. I got LJ undressed and I was holding her romper between my legs as I was getting her suit on. JT kept tugging on it and I asked him to stop, but he didn't. He then proceeded to pull it out from between my legs. As I was continuing to get LJ dressed the romper was flung into the toilet. I was so mad. Not only was it in the toilet, but there was pee in there that did not belong to this family. JT was apologizing profusely as I was turning into the incedible hulk, only red. I calmed down and told him it was ok and then I started to get changed. I had my bottoms on and JT apologized again.



Me: "It's ok honey, it was just an accident."

JT: "It was an accident?"

Me: "Was it an accident?"

JT: "No."

Me: "Did you throw it into the toilet on purpose?"

JT: "Yes."

Me: "You did it on purpose?"

JT: "Yes."

Me: "Put your shoes on. We are not going swimming."

JT: "WAAAHHHHAAAWWWAAAHHHHAAAAHHHWWWAAAAHHHHAWWWWAAHHHHAA!"



And out we marched. JT was wearing only his swim trunks...no shoes.

Words from Yo Momma

I have been experiencing quite a bit of *rage* lately. I tend to voice it while driving (apparently). Although I had not voiced it today, JT was repeatedly saying in the car today "Watch it moeRONT!" I almost peed my pants! For those that need translation, that is 'moron'. Ahem.

Thrill Seeker...Scarred For Life

JT is spending this week with his grandparents. His Aunt Mary wanted to spend some quality time with him, so she decided to take him to Six Flags today. I know they had a great time, but he may never be the same again. Yes, friends, my little boy went on his first "BIG" boy roller coaster today. And I do mean BIG...it is called the "Mind Bender" and it has 3 loops! WTF??? I was at least in high school before I ever got on a ride like this. JT of course thought it was a wonderful idea while watching it and eagerly jumped into the seat, but Mary said as it 'click, click, clicked' its way to the top, he had changed his mind. Surprisingly, he did not cry. He did tell Mary that his belly hurt when they got off! I cannot wait to see him and have him recount this! Oh, and he wouldn't go on anymore rides after that!! Not even for a ride on Thomas the Train! He did have a blast playing games and playing in the water! Thank you Mary for spending this time with him! We love you!

Miracle of all miracles

JT slept until 7:00 this morning, and only got up then because I had to get him up to go to school. Today was his last day. He will start the "big" school in August. It was a little bit sad and I kinda had a knot in my tummy. I really wasn't expecting that!

Damn You Target

But don't get mad at me...I still love you! These freaking gas prices are screwing with EVERYTHING! The popcorn combo at Target is no longer $1. The price has increased to $1.50. But, as we all know, I will still pay for it...unless I am just not in the mood for the popcorn. Because it is and always has been all about the diet coke. *sigh*

I'm a Moron

I finally got to lay out in the sun on Thursday. When I got home from the Y I put my suit on and headed outside. I didn't have any sunscreen on, and I almost always have it on my face. But, my intention was to cover my face with a towel. Well, my dumbass fell asleep, which I never do. I was a crispy critter when I got up. Not to mention the fact that I had just had my eyebrows waxed the day before. I have never in my life had sunburnt eyelids...now my entire face is peeling...ATTRACTIVE!

Poor Baby

Saturday afternoon LJ woke up from her short nap crying hysterically. I went to get her and she was just pitiful. I didn't think anything was really wrong, only that maybe she had a bad dream or something. We laid down on the couch and she fell back asleep on my chest. My parents were in town and came to watch the kids that night so we could go out. She felt a little warm, but seemed fine. When we got home my mom told me that she had been sitting in the floor and just fell over at the waist and went to sleep! She woke up once during the night with a fever and we gave her some motrin. When she got up yesterday, she was burning up and had a fever of 102.2. I called the dr and it took over an hour for them to call back. And of course all she said was tylenol/motrin, fluids, rest. Well, I knew that. LJ didn't have any other symptoms, so I really don't know what the problem was. But nothing like going to buy more motrin and a new thermometer to make a sick child all better. She woke from her nap arounf lunchtime yesterday with no fever and has been fine ever since. She had to make up for lost time last night by crawling around everywhere and getting in to everything!

Pissed Off

That is the phrase that pretty much describes how I have been feeling all day for no apparent reason. I hate feeling this way...I assume it is PMS, but my God, what a pain in the ass. Everybody is on my nerves [read: Darrell]! Poor guy can't do anything right. I think I need some mamalicious pills!

What The Hell?!

My teenage neighbor across the street is getting a BJ in his driveway right now. Are you freaking kidding me??? And we are watching from the nursery window!!!

A Cheap Expensive Date

We got a sitter last Saturday night and went to dinner and a movie. This was the cheapest most expensive date. It was "cheap" because we just went to dinner and movie, but it cost a small fortune to do so.

Pizza for kids and sitter: $10
Dinner at Bonefish Grill (only 3 appetizers and a couple of beers): $40
2 Movie Tickets: $17
Small Popcorn and Large Diet Coke: $10
Sitter: $45 for 4.5 hours

I'm just not sure it is really worth it!

Let's Talk About Boobs

I used to consider my boobs a pretty good asset, but notsomuch anymore. They deflated considerably after I lost weight, which was fine. But now, afer nursing, they are just gross. I seriously look like something out of National Geographic. I can seriously wad them up and put them in my bra! I need a boob job and I want implants too!

And what is the deal with nipples these days? Is it ok for them to be seen through clothing? Because if I am not wearing a padded bra (which I only have one of, and my boobs fall out of it), then these beams are always shining bright. They never used to be that way, and if they were I was self-conscious about it. Now I am really not giving a crap, but wondering if I should! What are your thoughts?

J.T. aka "Flo Rida"

JT loves the song "Low". This is his version. I have to get it on tape!

Pop-pop jing jing
Da fur, da fur
hmmmmhmmm
Low, low, low, low, low, low lowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Stolen from Kim

5 things I cannot live without under $10:

1. Diet Coke

2. Paper Towels

3. 2.5 Gallons of Gas

4. Zero Frizz hair serum

5. Dunkin Donuts plain bagel, toasted with strawberry cream cheese



5 Favorite Movies:

1. Dirty Dancing

2. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

3. Beautiful Girls

4. Pretty Woman

5. Urban Cowboy



5 Girl baby names you love (but won’t use): [My own disclaimer - the original blog had "but won't use" on there -- Trust me that given the chance, I would use ANY of these!]

1. Margaret (Maggie)

2. Olivia

3. Catherine

4. Mary

5. Chloe



5 Boy baby names you love (but won't use, only because I would shoot myself!)

1. Max

2. Ryan

3. George

4. Henry

5. Luke



5 songs you could listen to over and over:

1. Angel

2. So Glad I'm Here

3. Any Man of Mine

4. Landslide

5. Celebrate



5 things that stay in your purse all the time:

1. My wallet

2. Cell phone

3. Lipgloss

4. Pen

5. Receipts



5 obsessions you have right now:

1. Reading blogs

2. Survivor

3. I Know My Kid's a Star

4. Diet Coke

5. Going to the Y



5 places you would really love to go:

1. Cape Cod

2. Martha's Vineyard

3. Greek Isles

4. Fiji

5. Australia

Dear Firefighters,

Thank you for your committment to your work and putting yourself in danger to help others! Also, thank you for almost always being a hottie! However, if you are a firefighter and you are not a hottie, advertising that you are a firefighter is NOT going to make you any hotter. Nor is the stuffed fire dog in your rear window, or the sticker that says "Find 'em hot, leave 'em wet." I think I have made myself clear. Thanks!

Whoa Mom! That's A Big Belly!

Yeah, it is and I am sure the gentleman that you are pointing at and referring to would appreciate it if you would move along and so would I! JT not only said this, but did a double-take to do so. We were in a local Mexican restaurant and on the way to the restroom. Therefore, we had to take the same route back to our table. I, of course, was mortified. Once we got to the bathroom I told him that we don't make comments about other people..AT ALL. Apparently, there was something that he misunderstood in that conversation. On our way back to our table...I was even carrying him to hurry things along, he pointed and said "there mom, there!" Um, yeah, I know. SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

For Fun

1. Go to Photobucket (don't sign in)....I used flickr.

2. Type in your answer to the question in the "search" box

3. Use only the first image

4. Copy the html and paste for the answer.

Your First Name

Your Favorite Color

Celeb Crush

Favorite Disney Princess

Favorite Movie

Favorite Adult Beverage

Dream Vacation

Favorite Dessert

What I wanted to do when I grew up

The Y

I've finally started going back to the Y thanks to Kim. I went to an interval training class on Thursday that I really enjoyed and I plan to do that every T/TH. Darrell and I went to a core and flow class on Fri., which is a combination of pilates and yoga. We both really enjoyed it. There is a group power lift class that takes place after this one that I plan on trying this week. Kim and I met today and walked on the track. I then did a Zumba class. It was very interesting...a lot of mambo and chacha steps. There were a lot of older ladies in there...and it very much reminded me of a hip hop class. That makes for a very funny combination. I had to leave the class early though, the nursery came and got me because Lily June had been crying and wouldn't settle down. This was right in the middle of her naptime and she gets MAD when she is tired!!! Just like her mommy! I am enjoying the Y and I hope I can keep it up!

Oh what fun!

We had a nice weekend! We all went to a campfire at a nearby park on Friday night. It was fun, however, it was a mile hike to the fire (and therefore a mile back). We had smores and sang songs and guessed at riddles. It was fun, but while we were there, Daddio got a bad tummy and had to go to the bathroom. So, he pretty much missed all of the fun.

Saturday was JT's first day at soccer. He is in a program called Ripples, which is basically an introduction to soccer. It is for 3 and 4 yr. olds. He did well...I had no idea he could run and kick the ball at the same time. I was very proud of him. Unfortunately, Daddio had to go into work Friday night and couldn't make it. He was very disappointed, but it wasn't a game and JT didn't even notice (this time).

Sunday we went to Henry's 3rd birthday party. It was at Chuck E. Cheese's. I always like going there because JT has so much fun. Not to mention, the pizza is really good and I can get an endless supply of diet coke.

The Intruder

JT was playing next door with his friend Tori this evening. They were 'helping' her parents plant flowers. Darrell went over there to get him and her stepdad told him that one day when he came home he thought his wife had gotten up early to see him (she's a nurse and works some nights). He saw her peek through the window. When he walked in the house, it wasn't his wife. It was JT sitting there watching TV. He had just busted on into their house! I can just imagine what this guy thought! I am mortified, but at the same time I think it freaking hysterical! Darrell said his mouth dropped open when he told him. Of course Darrell apologized and they didn't care, but OMG...how crazy is that?! I have told him time and time again that he can't just bust into people's houses! He tried to do that while trick-or-treating! What a nut!

I just want some carbs, please!

On my way to meet Kim at the Y this morning (ahem), I stopped by Dunkin' Donuts. I wanted my somewhat usual order of a plain bagel toasted with strawberry cream cheese. I ordered and when I got to the window I was informed that they were out of strawberry cream cheese and asked if I would like something else. Well, they didn't have any other flavors that interested me so I just cancelled my order and left. I was bummed and hungry so I thought I would at least go to McD's and get my diet coke....not with that line! I swear, it's a conspiracy.

I went to the Y and did and interval training class which I really enjoyed. I plan on going again...I need to make it a habit. Well, of course after all that work I was really hungry. After I left the Y I finally got my diet coke and then went back to DD to order my second standby...an english muffin toasted with butter and strawberry jam. "I'm sorry we are out of english muffins and strawberry jam." WTF?? "Would you like a croissant with grape jam?" Well, not really, but since I want bread and sugar and butter, I guess it will have to do. When I got to the window I commented on how they were out of everything. They told it had been that way all week. They were "waiting on a truck". The croissant was ok, but just not what I wanted. At least I got my diet coke...and a workout!

Lost

No, not the TV show. For the third night in a row now JT has told me that he is lost in Tennessee and his friends are lost too. I really need a translator sometimes. He says some of the most random stuff!! Funny, but random!

I am lost because Daddio is still at work and JT cried forever for him tonight. As if I were hiding him somewhere and just telling him he was at work! He doesn't know when he will be home tonight and that means weird hours tomorrow and he also mentioned he will be working Friday night. I HATE THAT! JT has soccer on Sat. morning, so that will be interesting...especially since this is our first practice. The fields were too soggy last week. Wish me luck...I think I am going to need it!

I think I have seen it all

Because I saw these at Wal-Mart today:

Now, I love a dog, but COME ON!!!

I TOLD You My Kid's A Star (and he likes chocolate)

The BLF did a dance for his teacher today. I'm sure that was quite a spectacle. And I know he likes chocolate because he bit a *chocolate* kid today. WTF??? Save him a seat on the short bus!

I Know My Kid's a Star

Well, that is to say that I know the BLF will be good at something. However, right now I think that involves being a short bus ridin', window lickin' poo-flingin' moron. I love his imagination, but sometimes it needs to take a break so that real cognitive abilities can develop. As much as I love him, he can seriously fuck up a fuck up.

"I'm Not Wild"

I was driving while my dear friend Kim was holding a cake she had to deliver.

Kim: "I don't think I have ever ridden without my seatbelt on."
Me: "Never?"
Kim: "No! I feel like I'm not wearing a shirt!"
Me: "You've never ridden without a seatbelt on???"
Kim: "I'm not wild Julie!"
Me: [hysterical] "I am going to put that on my blog."

And there you go. Love ya Kim!

Chocolate

JT is starting soccer tomorrow. We were talking about it at dinner tonight and he asked me if his coach was a "chocolate" guy like in his soccer book. I told him no, that his coach was like him and then I asked him what kind of guy he was. He said he was a "gray" guy. I was so hoping he would say vanilla!

Mother of the Year

It is only April, but I am already willing and able to accept this award. My performance today makes me a shoe-in for this honor. When BB and I went to our happy place, I had to use the potty. After doing so, I decided to change BB as well. I then realized that although I had the 'diaper' bag, I had NO diapers. They were in the car. I really didn't want to load up and drag us all back out to the car, so I did what any mother of the year would do. I took her diaper off, scooped the poop out, flushed the poop, wiped her bottom and put the same diaper back on. Please hold your applause. Although this gets me top honors, it is after all, only April. There is SO much more where this came from!

A Day In The Life

I think I am becoming a freebie whore! A new GFS Marketplace opened nearby on Monday and in the circular yesterday I saw that they were giving away 'stuffed' hot/cold shopping bags to the first 100 people in the door beginning at 8:00 this morning. Well, I set my plan in action. I was thinking I would drop BLF off at school by 7:30 and of course get the obligatory diet coke from McD's. Well, I also had to consider what/how to feed BB in the meantime. I decided to get her pancakes at McD's and feed her in the car. I thought I would have plenty of time to wait in the parking lot at GFS. That was NOT the case. When I approached at 7:49 AM, the parking lot was full and there was a line through the middle of it. I hightailed it out of the car, put BB in the stroller in her carrier, grabbed the pancakes and got in line. So, there I was in line, in a parking lot, before 8:00 trying to get free shit. WTF?? Really, I am asking again...WHO AM I?? Sometimes I really just crack myself up. Well, I barely squeaked in...I was number 95!! WOOOHOOOO! I was pretty excited because I have wanted a bag like that for quite a while. I almost asked for one for the baby too, but I'm not THAT greedy! There are days when I simply amaze myself. Oh, and I got some cool stuff in the dollar bins at Target too...I'm a 'Crap for a Dollar' whore too.

You Wanna A Piece of Me

This morning, at 6:30 when I was getting out the shower the BLF comes into my bathroom wearing a football helmet and carrying a football.

BLF: You wanna piece of me?

Me: What?

BLF: YOU wanna a piece of me?

Me: Did you just ask me if I wanted a piece of you?

BLF: Yes.

Me: Pick up the phone and call daddio so we can both laugh our asses off!

Real Housewives of NYC

I can't wait to watch it tonight! I never in my life thought I would consider the OC gals to be down to earth, but I certainly do after seeing this group of bitches!

Here We Go Again

We just returned home from a trip to SC to visit with my parents and Mary (hi MaeMae!) and wouldn't you know my effin' grandmother (Mema...NOT Memawwwww) was put back in the hospital again. Where in the hell is the grim reaper?? He certainly is not with her! She has pneumonia....again. She has only been out of the hospital for 2 weeks from a stay that kept her there over a month. While there the first time she contracted the MRSA staph, had double pneumonia, and yeast infection and HERPES...all in her lungs....but no, she is still bitching...I mean kicking. This is my maternal grandmother and my mom is an only child. She treats my mom like crap and acts like a spoiled child and has some overblown sense of entitlement. Oh, and she is scared to death of dying. Thankfully, I think, that if she does not die, this will be her ticket into a nursing home. I know I seem insensitive. My grandmother has always been good to me. But, now that I am older I can see the whole picture very clearly and I have a hard time tolerating her shit. And coincidentally, something always happens to her when my mom and I are spending time together. She was put in the hospital last time the day after we left for Florida for our cruise and LJ was with my mom.
On another note, my dad is running for county council. I have mixed feelings about this for him. I wish him the best, but I feel like he is adding to what is an already very full plate. Oh well, just more to complain about, and that he can do!

Bargain Shopper

I never really used to look at food ads at different stores and then plan a shopping list. I still don't price match at Wal-Mart, which I should. But recently, I have gotten into looking at the weekly Kroger and Publx ads and paying special attention to sale prices and price per ounce. So I saw where Kroger is doing a mix or match sale and went in yesterday to take advantage. They had Dole fruit cups (4pk) 2 for $4, which I thought was a good deal, so I got 3 packs. They also had some Motts organic applesauce on closeout for $1.42 for a 4pk, because it expires at the end of this month. The original price was $2.85. I purchase said items and then go to Publix. They had the Dole fruit cups BOGO. I was mad that I had already bought them, but I didn't want to buy them again. When I got in the car I started to examine the Kroger receipt and realized that I had been charged $2.85 for the applesauce, which I bought 2 packs of. I normally don't pay this close attention, but I will from now on. I was still mad about the Dole fruit too, so I decided to bring the items back to Kroger this morning. I went to CUSTOMER SERVICE and the first thing I asked was "Do you price match?" What in the hell do you think the response was?? I certainly didn't expect "Not that I know of." Um, excuse me, not that you know of. You are working in customer service aren't you? If you don't know then who the hell does? So I told dimwit that I wanted to return the fruit and that the applesauce was on closeout, but scanned incorrectly. She actually had to go check the shelf, which really perturbed me...like I would drag my bag of food, my baby and myself back in there for nothing. Long story longer, I got $11 back and got to keep the applesauce because you get an item for free if it scans incorrectly. But I am still shit out of luck on some packs of fruit because the Publix sale ended yesterday. But that's ok....I'm watching you!!!!

On an only interesting to me note, I did take advantage of Harris Teeter triple coupons last weekend and saved over $50 with just the coupons I had alone. I seriously keep staring at the receipt because it makes me so happy. Why God, why??